The weekend

6:30 PM – 9:30 PM

A relaxed dinner for out-of-town family and friends from both sides, the night before the traditional engagement. In American weddings this slot is often the rehearsal dinner: a meal after the ceremony walk-through where the wedding party and close family meet, toast, and thank helpers.

What to wear: Smart casual. No traditional attire needed tonight; save the aso-ebi for tomorrow.

2:00 PM – 8:00 PM

The Nigerian traditional wedding. In many Nigerian cultures the marriage is not considered official until these rites are performed, which is why it comes first. Expect two MCs (the alaga iduro for the groom's family and the alaga ijoko for the bride's family), a proposal letter, the presentation of engagement gifts, plenty of music, and a lot of laughter. Family to validate the rite names and order before this goes live.

What to wear: Traditional attire. Nigerian guests: aso-ebi if you are in a fabric group, otherwise any traditional outfit (aso-oke, agbada, iro and buba with gele for women, fila cap for men). Guests new to this: a colorful outfit is perfect, and you are welcome to wear Nigerian attire if you would like to. We will share where to get it.

3:00 PM – 4:00 PM

The white wedding. A Western-style ceremony with personal vows and a processional. Nigerian family new to this format: it is shorter and quieter than the traditional engagement, and guests are seated for the whole ceremony.

What to wear: Western formal. Suits or tuxedos; cocktail or floor-length dresses. Please avoid white.

6:00 PM – 11:30 PM

Dinner, toasts, first dance, parent dances, and cake cutting from the American side; a live band or DJ, jollof, and money spraying from the Nigerian side. Money spraying is a blessing and a compliment, not a tip: guests shower the dancing couple with bills to celebrate them.

What to wear: Formal. Outfit change welcome: many guests switch into traditional attire for the party.